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All Posts Tagged Tag: ‘Therapy’

  • Readiness – one leans in, the other leans out

    Most couples who seek help have taken between five and seven years to get there. The usual difficulty is that one person feels overwhelmed by the issues and withdraws when it comes up. The other person feels overwhelmed by the issues and pursues them when […]

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  • Couple therapy like assembling an airplane in flight

    Not all counselors are trained to navigate the turbulence of relationship distress. The most effective couples therapy doesn’t plumb the unconscious or delve into the past or seek to identify the psychopathologies causing people to behave in destructive ways. Rather, couples therapy works best when […]

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  • Road blocks to intimacy

    In a road block or core impasse, both partners are guarding their vulnerabilities, and acting and reacting from their survival positions. This is what makes the impasse so heated, confusing, and intense. Road blocks or impasses at the core of an intimate relationship bring couples […]

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  • How to avoid connection and intimacy

    The Rules For Avoiding Intimacy don’t talk never show your feelings always be pleasant always be right never argue make others guess what you want keep busy and keep the TV/computer on. David Gershaw To that list I add the single most powerful thing you […]

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  • Compassion fatigue

    Bearing witness to loss or trauma We shield our heart with an armour woven out of very old habits of pushing away pain and grasping at pleasure. When we begin to breathe in (our) pain instead of pushing it away, we begin to open our […]

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  • Does couple therapy work?

    Dr. John Gottman found that most conflicts (69%) are about ongoing differences in beliefs and values. Couples need a way of talking over issues about which they will probably never agree. A good counsellor can help couples listen to feelings beneath the words, which increases respect […]

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