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All Posts Tagged Tag: ‘Intimacy’

  • Relationship repair part 10 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 10. Think effort not outcome. There is that inspirational saying that you see in the hallways of businesses: Good decision come from experience and experience comes from making bad decisions. Mastering […]

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  • Relationship repair part 9 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 9. Think you. In case you haven’t noticed, all these suggestions involve you, not the other guy. The stance that most couples enter counseling with is: “I have a problem with […]

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  • Relationship repair part 8 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 8. Think support. You can make changes on your own but it is a lot easier with support. Obvious support are people in your close network – your friend who encourages […]

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  • Relationship repair part 7 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 7. Think small steps. The hug is actually a good place to start. Because change creates anxiety, both change and anxiety are best approached in small steps. Because the goal is […]

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  • Relationship repair part 6 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 6. Think behavior not emotion. Many of us falsely believe that we need to feel like it to do it, which means if we don’t feel like it, we won’t or […]

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  • Relationship repair part 5 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 5. Think present not past. When you are struggling in a relationship, it’s easy for your mind to automatically scan through the past, collecting further evidence of injustices and mistreatment. It […]

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  • Relationship repair part 4 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 4. Think of problems as bad solutions. Whatever you see as a problem or an issue – the socks on the floor, the lack of sex, your partner’s anger or withdrawal […]

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  • Relationship repair part 3 of 10

    3. As couple therapists we invite the adults in the room to bring with them the child states that reside in their body and mind. These are always present in any deep emotional attachment. Below is another way of thinking about the second post in […]

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  • Relationship repair part 2 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 2. Communication is in 2 parts: Content – the what – and process – the how. In an argument about whether to go to Brunswick Heads pub on Sunday or Byron […]

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  • Relationship repair part 1 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here . 1. Patterns are more powerful than people. Situations have a power of their own. Context is everything in the meaning we make of events. Thinking in terms of people, of […]

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  • Sex and aging

    Look Peter the basic problem is the old guys are losing their oomph and they need a younger woman’s sex drive to even get it up. They got bored in their first and second marriage and leave when something risky and hot comes along. You […]

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  • Women shaming men

    I was not prepared (she writes) to hear over and over from men how the women – the mothers, sister, girlfriends, wives – in their lives are constantly criticising them for not being open and vulnerable and intimate. This subject is a constant in my […]

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