Peter’s couple therapy blog

Relationship repair part 5 of 10

This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here

5. Think present not past.

When you are struggling in a relationship, it’s easy for your mind to automatically scan through the past, collecting further evidence of injustices and mistreatment. It may give you fuel for futile arguments, but will do nothing to solve the problem and will only further drag you down.

Instead try to focus on the present. Push aside the temptation to go down that history road and zero in on the here and now – the current problem, your current worry, the present: What can you do now?

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