It’s not my job to glue you back together, but … I can help you clear away the habits or things that are poisoning the relationship unnecessarily.
They both wanted it to work. Chardi remembers seeing many of their friends going through the same thing – and failing. “One of them was willing to work on the relationship and one wasn’t. One was convinced it was all the other’s fault. And they had principles. And that’s just the way it was,” she says. “What was wonderful about David was that when we came to a real crisis in our marriage, he was willing to work. He was willing to go to counselling, he was willing to be open to the possibility that maybe a bit of the problem could have been him, it wasn’t all me, it was mutual.”
Chardi realised that in order to survive, marriages have to change. “Sometimes marriages in the way they were when you were young … have to really die for another way of being together, where you really do celebrate each other’s independence.” And there’s no point in trying to change the other person. “You have to find a way to love that thing you want to change most. This is a little corny, but I think you do. So you find another way of meeting again, with a lot more acceptance.“
More of their story here.