Category Archive for: ‘Therapy’

  • What to practice before coming to couple therapy

    It’s not your job to understand me – it’s mine. Byron Katie If you want to feel sad, believe your thoughts. Intimacy is the mind understanding itself. Practice that thought with the help of these three video sessions by Byron Katie. Here’s the first video […]

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  • Why we choose difficult partners

    Another thought provoking video from Anthony de Botton.

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  • The Byron Bay couple

    Couple therapy gets a bad rap from customers who break up after going to counselling. So much so that if one partner were to ask to go to couple therapy, the other may believe this is an indication of an unspoken but impending break up. […]

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  • What to do before coming to couple therapy

    Get this Card Decks app from the Gotmman Institute and together, working as a team, start with the Love Maps section: Couple Cards You may find some of the questions challenging. Take it slowly and allow yourself to be curious and kind with each other. […]

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  • Readiness – one leans in, the other leans out

    Most couples who seek help have taken between five and seven years to get there. The usual difficulty is that one person feels overwhelmed by the issues and withdraws when it comes up. The other person feels overwhelmed by the issues and pursues them when […]

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  • Individual therapy sessions

    I am interested in how we relate to our internal experiences. It is like a matrix of family relationships inside ourselves. Sometimes it could be likened to a couple: a top dog and an underdog; a part that criticizes us and a part that shuts […]

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  • Fear and shame in couple communication

    The number one myth about relationships is that talking helps. More often than not it makes things worse. When couples feel connected, men want to talk more and women need to talk less. According to Stosny’s analysis of several hundred human and animal studies, male […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 8

    MEN AND WOMEN REALLY ARE DIFFERENT “In 85 percent of marriages, the stonewaller is the husband. The reason lies in our gender. “Any nursing mother can tell you that the amount of milk she produces is affected by how relaxed she feels, which is related […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 5

    THE FIFTH SIGN: FAILED REPAIR ATTEMPTS “While it takes time for the four horsemen and the flooding that comes in their wake to overrun a marriage, divorce can so often be predicted by listening to a single conversation between newlyweds. By analysing any disagreement a […]

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  • Emotional Safety – pre-condition for successful couple therapy

    Emotional Safety: A Cornerstone For Healing by Linda Marks. I retrieved this article and quoted in full from on 15.09.15 “While multitudes of theories and techniques to facilitate healing abound, in nearly fifteen years of clinical practice I have found one element to be […]

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  • Lucy & Bart 3

    FLOODING This fictional couple have been struggling with self-limiting interactions for about six years. Mostly they have a great time with each other. Have similar senses of humour and share most of their leisure activities. Apart from his choice of franchise, they share many core […]

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  • Endurance

    The average relationship waits six years before seeking help with a known problem that both people contribute to. Many of my clients have waited 20 years before getting help. Some have had three of four attempts at couple’s therapy using low success methods like communication […]

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