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Category Archive for: ‘Mending’

  • Relationship repair part 9 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 9. Think you. In case you haven’t noticed, all these suggestions involve you, not the other guy. The stance that most couples enter counseling with is: “I have a problem with […]

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  • Relationship repair part 8 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 8. Think support. You can make changes on your own but it is a lot easier with support. Obvious support are people in your close network – your friend who encourages […]

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  • Looking after yourself after the bushfires

    Excellent article self-care after a disaster from beyond blue. “Communities and individuals affected by a disaster can experience a range of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that can be intense, confusing and frightening. These are common reactions to an extraordinary situation. Fear, for example, is an […]

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  • Couple communication strategies 1

    Couple communication strategies need to be practiced over and over again until they become habitual. Reading about communication skills is meaningless until they are put into action frequently and at every opportunity, face to face, email, text, video chat, phone etc.. You are trying to […]

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  • Relationship repair part 7 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 7. Think small steps. The hug is actually a good place to start. Because change creates anxiety, both change and anxiety are best approached in small steps. Because the goal is […]

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  • Relationship repair part 6 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 6. Think behavior not emotion. Many of us falsely believe that we need to feel like it to do it, which means if we don’t feel like it, we won’t or […]

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  • Relationship repair part 5 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 5. Think present not past. When you are struggling in a relationship, it’s easy for your mind to automatically scan through the past, collecting further evidence of injustices and mistreatment. It […]

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  • Relationship repair part 4 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 4. Think of problems as bad solutions. Whatever you see as a problem or an issue – the socks on the floor, the lack of sex, your partner’s anger or withdrawal […]

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  • Relationship repair part 3 of 10

    3. As couple therapists we invite the adults in the room to bring with them the child states that reside in their body and mind. These are always present in any deep emotional attachment. Below is another way of thinking about the second post in […]

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  • What to practice before coming to couple therapy

    It’s not your job to understand me – it’s mine. Byron Katie If you want to feel sad, believe your thoughts. Intimacy is the mind understanding itself. Practice that thought with the help of these three video sessions by Byron Katie. Here’s the first video […]

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  • Relationship repair part 2 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 2. Communication is in 2 parts: Content – the what – and process – the how. In an argument about whether to go to Brunswick Heads pub on Sunday or Byron […]

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  • Relationship repair part 1 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here . 1. Patterns are more powerful than people. Situations have a power of their own. Context is everything in the meaning we make of events. Thinking in terms of people, of […]

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