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Category Archive for: ‘Intimacy’

  • Sarah Kay “If I should have a daughter …”

    Art as non-ownable nourishment Sarah Kay is perhaps one of the few poets making a living with her work. Here is a link to her performance of the poem in the subject line. She follows it with a talk about poetry, that is utterly inspiring […]

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  • Mercy sex

    I found this tragic, funny, painful and true Q&A from a blog titled Emily’s Post dated August 26th 2006 and quote it in full minus the comments section. I recommend you read another post from Emily about the conversation with her husband about their mercy […]

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  • Family business-owning couples 1

    Nearly half of my clients have been family business-owning couples. They range from one paid employee to around a hundred. From a couple who mortgaged their own and their parents’ houses in a startup venture with a unique product that paid off; to those entering […]

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  • The push-pull relationship

    There is an excellent article on Huffington Post about this pattern. Here is an excerpt. The pulling away typically happens when the relationship seems to be going exceptionally well — usually right after that interim of deep and meaningful connection. This occurs because the intimacy […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 6

    THE SIXTH SIGN: BAD MEMORIES “When a relationship gets subsumed in negativity, it’s not only the couple’s present and future life together that are put at risk. Their past is in danger, too. Couples who are deeply entrenched in a negative view of their spouse […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 4

    THE FOURTH SIGN: BODY LANGUAGE “Even if you could not hear the conversation between a stonewaller and the spouse, you would be able to predict their divorce simply by looking at the stonewaller’s physiological readings. When couples are monitored for bodily changes during a tense […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 2

    THE SECOND SIGN: THE FOUR HORSEMEN A harsh startup sounds the warning bell that the couple may be having serious difficulty. As the discussion unfolds, Gottman continues to look out for particular types of negative interactions. Certain kinds of negativity, if allowed to run rampant, […]

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  • The unconscious relationship

    Most of our actions and inactions are decided in the back of our mind before we become aware of them. Our public persona, and our private and our secret selves create cross currents of contradictions and ambiguities. These three selves make for a number of […]

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  • How to avoid connection and intimacy

    The Rules For Avoiding Intimacy don’t talk never show your feelings always be pleasant always be right never argue make others guess what you want keep busy and keep the TV/computer on. David Gershaw To that list I add the single most powerful thing you […]

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  • Relationship success part 5 – consequences

    Responses to threats and unpleasantness are faster, stronger and harder to inhibit than responses to opportunities and pleasures. Jonathan Haidt The wimps survived Those who survived the journey out of Africa (and we are ALL their children diversified) attend to our fears more than to […]

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  • Individual therapy or couple therapy?

    Intimate conversations out-sourced to an individual counsellor can be experienced as infidelity by the excluded partner. The absent partner may be misrepresented and the counsellor may get triangulated Question: ‘My partner of 4 years has been seeing a psychotherapist for the last 8 months and […]

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