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Category Archive for: ‘Forgiving’

  • Trauma fiction – “The Dream Life Of Debris”

    Twelve-year-old Paul loves to walk the train tracks of suburban Adelaide. One day as he’s walking with his faithful Jack Russell, he witnesses something he doesn’t understand. He buries the memory deep in his subconscious, choosing instead to dwell on dreams. As an adult, his […]

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  • On vulnerability part 2.

    When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability… To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L’Engle Steps to increase your ability to be vulnerable and […]

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  • Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it?

    Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defences, you build […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 8

    MEN AND WOMEN REALLY ARE DIFFERENT “In 85 percent of marriages, the stonewaller is the husband. The reason lies in our gender. “Any nursing mother can tell you that the amount of milk she produces is affected by how relaxed she feels, which is related […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 4

    THE FOURTH SIGN: BODY LANGUAGE “Even if you could not hear the conversation between a stonewaller and the spouse, you would be able to predict their divorce simply by looking at the stonewaller’s physiological readings. When couples are monitored for bodily changes during a tense […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 2

    THE SECOND SIGN: THE FOUR HORSEMEN A harsh startup sounds the warning bell that the couple may be having serious difficulty. As the discussion unfolds, Gottman continues to look out for particular types of negative interactions. Certain kinds of negativity, if allowed to run rampant, […]

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  • Relationship success part 5 – consequences

    Responses to threats and unpleasantness are faster, stronger and harder to inhibit than responses to opportunities and pleasures. Jonathan Haidt The wimps survived Those who survived the journey out of Africa (and we are ALL their children diversified) attend to our fears more than to […]

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  • Smart women with cheating husbands

    Why do smart women stay with cheating husbands?

    Smart of course has to be defined, but one thing we know from research is that rejection drops a person’s IQ by about 25% and increases their hostility. Intimate betrayal is a profound rejection that continues beyond the discovery of the affair into the core […]

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