Category Archive for: ‘Ending’

  • Steps to ending a relationship

    I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable. Joseph Addison Try some or all of these […]

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  • Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it?

    Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defences, you build […]

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  • It was over in a blink of the eye

    I wasn’t given the chance to sit my husband down and explain why I was leaving. I didn’t have the opportunity to provide clarity, which is what he deserved. Instead it was a sloppy mess and one of the worst days of my life. He […]

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  • I had to ask my partner to be kind to me

    This is the beginning of an article from a series The Guardian is running on the experience of a fragmenting relationship that leads to divorce. “I have many moments that come to mind if I try to pinpoint when, exactly, it was obvious that my […]

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  • Why people in life partnerships live longer

    What I want to tell you about five myths concerning marriage that are common and to tell you why they’re all wrong. First I’ll just run through the myths and then I’ll demolish them. This is a follow up article on my blog post Will […]

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  • Will divorce will make it better?

    Unhappy marriages are less common than unhappy spouses Divorce didn’t typically: reduce symptoms of depression raise self-esteem increase a sense of mastery This was true even after controlling for race, age, gender & income. Even unhappy spouses who had divorced & remarried were no happier […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 7

    THE END DRAWS NEAR “When a marriage gets to the point where the couple have rewritten their history, when their minds and bodies make it virtually impossible to communicate and repair their current problems, it is almost bound to fail. They find themselves constantly on […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 5

    THE FIFTH SIGN: FAILED REPAIR ATTEMPTS “While it takes time for the four horsemen and the flooding that comes in their wake to overrun a marriage, divorce can so often be predicted by listening to a single conversation between newlyweds. By analysing any disagreement a […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 1

    THE FIRST SIGN: HARSH STARTUP A relationship’s breakdown can be predicted by habitual harsh startup and frequent flooding brought on by the relentless presence of the four horsemen (described in following posts 2 & 3) during disagreements. Although each of these factors alone can predict […]

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  • How to avoid connection and intimacy

    The Rules For Avoiding Intimacy don’t talk never show your feelings always be pleasant always be right never argue make others guess what you want keep busy and keep the TV/computer on. David Gershaw To that list I add the single most powerful thing you […]

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  • Breaking up with a soul mate

    How do people cope when they break up with a soul mate?

    A soul mate relationship could be defined as as one of “absolute love” and a “completely perfect match” These are subjective feelings and beliefs about soul mate that are unique to every individual and not necessarily having the same set of beliefs (nor defined in the same […]

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