Peter’s couple therapy blog

This blog is Peter Fox thinking out loud about couple therapy work. Face to face in session he is as thoughtful but less talkative.

  • Passive aggression course on-line

    The first time I realized I wasn’t a perfect girlfriend was when my boyfriend and I were just months into dating. I was mad at him for asking if we could stay in when we’d made plans to go out. It wasn’t the first time […]

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  • Relationship repair part 10 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 10. Think effort not outcome. There is that inspirational saying that you see in the hallways of businesses: Good decision come from experience and experience comes from making bad decisions. Mastering […]

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  • How we think leads how we feel

    © 2018 Nick WignallTheme by Anders Norén How Our Stories Make Us Miserable: 10 Types of Negative Self-Talk (and How to Correct Them) July 27, 2018 • In Emotional Fitness Cognitive Distortions and Negative Self-Talk When people ask me what I do, I respond with, […]

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  • Couple communication strategies 3

    Build Rapport from a management perspective Here are 5 basic communication lessons that can drastically impact your relationships. 1. Don’t Use That Tone With Me, Sir. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. We all know this. Whether you agree with the […]

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  • Relationship repair part 9 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 9. Think you. In case you haven’t noticed, all these suggestions involve you, not the other guy. The stance that most couples enter counseling with is: “I have a problem with […]

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  • Couple communication strategies 2

    Strategies for Ending Arguments Gottmans’ research indicates that relationship success is not dependent on whether couples argue or not. It’s how they argue, and how they repair (see my series on repair). Conflicts are unavoidable in any intimate relationship and they can contribute to growth […]

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  • Relationship repair part 8 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 8. Think support. You can make changes on your own but it is a lot easier with support. Obvious support are people in your close network – your friend who encourages […]

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  • Looking after yourself after the bushfires

    Excellent article self-care after a disaster from beyond blue. “Communities and individuals affected by a disaster can experience a range of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that can be intense, confusing and frightening. These are common reactions to an extraordinary situation. Fear, for example, is an […]

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  • Couple communication strategies 1

    Couple communication strategies need to be practiced over and over again until they become habitual. Reading about communication skills is meaningless until they are put into action frequently and at every opportunity, face to face, email, text, video chat, phone etc.. You are trying to […]

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  • Relationship repair part 7 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 7. Think small steps. The hug is actually a good place to start. Because change creates anxiety, both change and anxiety are best approached in small steps. Because the goal is […]

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  • Is divorce the last resort

    A controlled separation is preferable to divorce. Even when a couple divorce, unhappily married adults who divorced are no more likely to report emotional and psychological improvements than those who stayed married. The most unhappy marriages reported the most dramatic turnarounds: among those who rated […]

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  • Relationship repair part 6 of 10

    This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 6. Think behavior not emotion. Many of us falsely believe that we need to feel like it to do it, which means if we don’t feel like it, we won’t or […]

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