Peter’s couple therapy blog

Go to where you are celebrated
Infidelity
Q. "How long does it take to end an affair? A. Between one phone call and 25+ years. Infidelity is most likely to occur in the first three years of marriage or in the last year of the marriage. Infidelity can be emotional, sexual and/or financial. In my experience...

Goals for couple therapy
Please start the new year with a resolution to repair whatever remains unresolved from the last two years of weirdness. I like this article from psych central for an understanding of what couple therapy offers. These goals for example, Deepen knowledge and...
Exits from intimacy
1. Why do we "perforate" our relationships with Exits? 2. What are some of the ways we use to avoid each other? 3. What can we do to gradually change this dynamic in our relationship? One definition of an Exit is "any behavior that acts out a feeling, rather than...
Couple coaching vs. therapy
Coaches ask questions to help one or both partners in a relationship to improve something – for example, improving communication, personal growth or helping them respond to needs better. Improvement will be judged on metrics decided on by the stakeholders. Therapy is...
Self-compassion
The care and concern we show our pets and even our plants yet which we deny to ourselves. The three elements to self-compassion are kindness to oneself common humanity and mindfulness Compassion defined: kindness, mercy, tenderness, benevolence, understanding,...
Dishes predict harmony
Male-female couples whose housework is shared have less strife, as well as greater relationship satisfaction and sexual intimacy, than those in which the burden falls largely to the woman. Dishwashing is the chore that most influences relationship quality....
Not glueing together but clearing the poison away
It’s not my job to glue you back together, but ... I can help you clear away the habits or things that are poisoning the relationship unnecessarily. They both wanted it to work. Chardi remembers seeing many of their friends going through the same thing – and failing....
Passive aggression course on-line
The first time I realized I wasn’t a perfect girlfriend was when my boyfriend and I were just months into dating. I was mad at him for asking if we could stay in when we’d made plans to go out. It wasn’t the first time he had bailed like this. Rather than telling him...
Relationship repair part 10 of 10
This is an edited extract of a longer article, which can be found here 10. Think effort not outcome. There is that inspirational saying that you see in the hallways of businesses: Good decision come from experience and experience comes from making bad decisions....