Peter’s couple therapy blog

What to read before coming to couple therapy

The book that best represents emotion focussed couple therapy is “Hold Me Tight” by Sue Johnson and the workbook to go with that is “An Emotionally Focused Workbook for Couples: The Two of Us” by Veronica Kallos-Lilly and Jennifer Fitzgerald. I reckon these two books are so good that they are sufficient for dealing with all but distressed couples with a trauma history or with complex and long standing problems such as infidelity; compulsive lying; large differences in desire; those experiencing family violence, alcoholism, other addictions, or chronic pain and illness.

Neither of these books will do the trick if unproductive talking about the problem is part of the problem – that is you are over talking about it. In that case, my best and only book recommendation is “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It” by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny.

If reading is too much altogether, then go for this cartoon of the seven principles for building a great relationship.

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