Archives

Category Archive for: ‘Therapy’

  • The Byron Bay couple

    Couple therapy gets a bad rap from customers who break up after going to counselling. So much so that if one partner were to ask to go to couple therapy, the other may believe this is an indication of an unspoken but impending break up. […]

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  • What to do before coming to couple therapy

    Get this Card Decks app from the Gotmman Institute and together, working as a team, start with the Love Maps section: Couple Cards You may find some of the questions challenging. Take it slowly and allow yourself to be curious and kind with each other. […]

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  • Readiness – one leans in, the other leans out

    Most couples who seek help have taken between five and seven years to get there. The usual difficulty is that one person feels overwhelmed by the issues and withdraws when it comes up. The other person feels overwhelmed by the issues and pursues them when […]

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  • Fear and shame in couple communication

    The number one myth about relationships is that talking helps. More often than not it makes things worse. When couples feel connected, men want to talk more and women need to talk less. According to Stosny’s analysis of several hundred human and animal studies, male […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 8

    MEN AND WOMEN REALLY ARE DIFFERENT “In 85 percent of marriages, the stonewaller is the husband. The reason lies in our gender. “Any nursing mother can tell you that the amount of milk she produces is affected by how relaxed she feels, which is related […]

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  • How Gottman predicts separation/divorce 5

    THE FIFTH SIGN: FAILED REPAIR ATTEMPTS “While it takes time for the four horsemen and the flooding that comes in their wake to overrun a marriage, divorce can so often be predicted by listening to a single conversation between newlyweds. By analysing any disagreement a […]

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  • Emotional Safety – pre-condition for successful couple therapy

    Emotional Safety: A Cornerstone For Healing by Linda Marks. I retrieved this article and quoted in full from http://www.ofspirit.com/lindamarks3.htm on 15.09.15 “While multitudes of theories and techniques to facilitate healing abound, in nearly fifteen years of clinical practice I have found one element to be […]

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  • Lucy & Bart 3

    FLOODING This fictional couple have been struggling with self-limiting interactions for about six years. Mostly they have a great time with each other. Have similar senses of humour and share most of their leisure activities. Apart from his choice of franchise, they share many core […]

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  • Endurance

    The average relationship waits six years before seeking help with a known problem that both people contribute to. Many of my clients have waited 20 years before getting help. Some have had three of four attempts at couple’s therapy using low success methods like communication […]

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  • Illness in marital distress

    Jackie and Bill, a couple of 25 years with three kids, asked me, ‘is this as good as it gets? How long can this go on’? Jackie early 50’s, had been ill with a debilitating pancreatitis for the last year. Recently she had viral pneumonia. […]

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  • Borderline PD part 1 of 6 – introduction

    I prefer to think of BPD as a dyslymbic brain function rather than a personality disorder. Psychiatry has another view. According to the DSM-IV, approximately 75% of people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder are female. According to Marsha Linehan a history of sexual abuse is […]

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  • Individual therapy or couple therapy?

    Intimate conversations out-sourced to an individual counsellor can be experienced as infidelity by the excluded partner. The absent partner may be misrepresented and the counsellor may get triangulated Question: ‘My partner of 4 years has been seeing a psychotherapist for the last 8 months and […]

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