Peter’s couple therapy blog

FIFO relationship

Long distance commuting – fly, drive or bus

Is it hard being a FIFO wife? I get asked this constantly. I also get oh you poor thing being on your own all that time coping with the kids. However, my take on it is this – we love it. Most of the time. There are the odd occasions when I have the odd melt down but you know my opinion and that’s a rare event.

And ultimatly we arent the first to do this. Women of defence, truck drivers, did it before us as did their kids. And they would have done it without email, without skype, without face book and msn.

The fifo swing we do is 4 weeks on and 4 weeks off. The end result is this: my husband is home for a full solid month and in that time he is the best dad and husband in the world. He attends swimming lessons, basketball practise; he is never too tired to play dinosaurs or tickles in the backyard. I watch my neighbours husbands leave at 5am and get home tired at 6pm. Working six days a week and too tired to play and enjoy the kids on a Sunday, their only day off. My husband is there 100% in the moment for that entire month both for them and me.

The quote above from: A fifo wife?

I used to go out with this guy who was incredibly articulate, funny and could make a double-adaptor power plug sound super interesting. One day, I found a piece of paper in his work pocket after he flew home. It was a bullet-pointed list of stuff we had talked about while he was at work. As it turned out, he wanted to remember the innocuous-but-funny things that happened to him or thought about while at work. That way it wasn’t just ‘yeah, work’s OK, how about you’ bore fest, the conversation had a little more detail, even if it’s how Davo* got his pants-pocket stuck in the latch of the chopper as he was getting out and gave himself a wedgie.

But it’s a fine line.

I know when I was the one working away and my partner was back in Perth studying fulltime, I wanted to hear all the news – but not too much news. If he was having too much fun, I remember I started to resent it (and him) but, at the time, I didn’t have the tools to not take his harmless conversation so personally.

The photo and the above quote from the wry bride. The constant reuniting and leaving was the killer.

My FIFO case study on this site.

This fifo life website

FIFO relationship advice

Life after fifo

Suicide

/* ]]> */